The Leadership Skill We Ignore: And It’s Impact is Massive

Every high-achieving and leader I coach walks into our first session wanting a strategy to lead or communicate more effectively. A better way to run their team, a plan for the next promotion, a fix for a culture problem that has been building for months.

But what actually determines whether they can execute any of that has nothing to do with strategy. It comes down to how much sleep they got last night, whether their nervous system is regulated, and whether they are running on caffeine and adrenaline or on a strong foundation. Because strategy and a strong team are great, but none will be at peak performance without a regulated and energized leader first. 

I don’t start coaching engagements by discussing leadership style. I start by asking a client where they stand today. What their sleep looks like, their habits, how close they are to burnout. We dive into how their stress response is impacting the people around them.

Because before someone can lead a team, they have to be able to lead themselves. Self-mastery is not an optional part of great leadership and performance; it’s the prerequisite..

Here is a question to think about. When you walk into a room with your team, which version of you shows up? The regulated one, or the one running on four hours of sleep and loads of coffee? Your team already knows the answer. They can feel it in how you show up day-to-day.  They can tell if they’re getting the exhausted or energized version of you. 

What the research shows

I’ve worn a wearable for years. What it gave me was a snapshot into my health and the data to support it rather than guessing.  I could track my sleep, recovery, and heart rate variability, and plan around them instead of pushing through and hoping for a more energetic day to perform better at work. It helped me prepare for high-energy training and coaching days, meetings, and creative time.

I remember one week where I used this to my advantage. I was delivering four straight days of all-day training, early mornings, late nights, traveling in and out of state, sleeping in hotel rooms. My recovery score started sliding from green into yellow, and I could feel it too — that low-grade off feeling before you get a cold or get sick. I got back to the hotel super early and slept twelve hours. I did the same thing the next night. By the third day, I was back in the green. I am convinced that is the difference between catching a cold midway and preventing yourself from tanking. The data supported what I felt in my body, and it was something I couldn’t ignore.

I personally love my Whoop. WHOOP has done research on this exact link between sleep and leadership performance. Dr Kristen Holmes PhD, WHOOP's Global Head of Human Performance, along with researchers Dr. Jemma King and Nadia Fox, studied executives from McKinsey and Company's Executive Leadership Program, and the findings are worth reading slowly:

"In the executive sample Holmes, King, and Fox studied, 45 minutes of sleep debt predicted a 5 to 10% decrease in mental control, and 30 minutes of slow-wave sleep predicted a 5 to 10%  increase. Those findings build from earlier WHOOP research covered in stress, sleep, and cognitive functioning. Across the two projects discussed here, business executives in McKinsey & Company's Executive Leadership Program wore WHOOP bands while researchers collected physiological data, self-report data, and cognitive testing over roughly three to five months."

Forty-five minutes. That is the difference between a leader who can think clearly under pressure and one who becomes reactive or comes across as defensive and upset. 

Then, let’s look at psychological safety. This is the belief that employees feel they can be safe sharing ideas, speaking up, asking questions, admitting mistakes and that they won’t be punished or humiliated for doing so.  

The same research team ran a second study, and looked at leaders' sleep debt before specific meetings and compared it to psychological safety ratings from those leaders' direct reports. More sleep debt before a meeting, lower psychological safety ratings from their direct reports after it. The average leader in that executive sample already scored a strong 4.3 out of 5 on psychological safety with their team. 

I’ve worn a wearable for years. What it gave me was a snapshot into my health and the data to support it rather than guessing.  I could track my sleep, recovery, and heart rate variability, and plan around them instead of pushing through and hoping for a more energetic day to perform better at work. It helped me prepare for high-energy training and coaching days, meetings, and creative time.

I remember one week where I used this to my advantage. I was delivering four straight days of all-day training, early mornings, late nights, traveling in and out of state, sleeping in hotel rooms. My recovery score started sliding from green into yellow, and I could feel it too — that low-grade off feeling before you get a cold or get sick. I got back to the hotel super early and slept twelve hours. I did the same thing the next night. By the third day, I was back in the green. I am convinced that is the difference between catching a cold midway and preventing yourself from tanking. The data supported what I felt in my body, and it was something I couldn’t ignore.

I personally love my Whoop. WHOOP has done research on this exact link between sleep and leadership performance. Dr Kristen Holmes PhD, WHOOP's Global Head of Human Performance, along with researchers Dr. Jemma King and Nadia Fox, studied executives from McKinsey and Company's Executive Leadership Program, and the findings are worth reading slowly:

"In the executive sample Holmes, King, and Fox studied, 45 minutes of sleep debt predicted a 5 to 10% decrease in mental control, and 30 minutes of slow-wave sleep predicted a 5 to 10%  increase. Those findings build from earlier WHOOP research covered in stress, sleep, and cognitive functioning. Across the two projects discussed here, business executives in McKinsey & Company's Executive Leadership Program wore WHOOP bands while researchers collected physiological data, self-report data, and cognitive testing over roughly three to five months."

Forty-five minutes. That is the difference between a leader who can think clearly under pressure and one who becomes reactive or comes across as defensive and upset. 

Then, let’s look at psychological safety. This is the belief that employees feel they can be safe sharing ideas, speaking up, asking questions, admitting mistakes and that they won’t be punished or humiliated for doing so.  

The same research team ran a second study, and looked at leaders' sleep debt before specific meetings and compared it to psychological safety ratings from those leaders' direct reports. More sleep debt before a meeting, lower psychological safety ratings from their direct reports after it. The average leader in that executive sample already scored a strong 4.3 out of 5 on psychological safety with their team. 

Here is why that happens. When a leader is sleep-deprived, their self-control weakens. They get less patient, less empathetic and warm and less tolerant of pushback. Those around them feel the shift immediately and adjusts by holding back questions, or just avoid the person altogether. People no longer know which version of you they are going to get that day, so they stop sharing their questions or suggestions with you. They find they have to manage you because they become fearful. So, an unregulated leader costs a team, and now it is measurable.

This is science, and it is the exact reason I will not coach someone on leadership skills until I understand their baseline and we work on the foundation first. 

Six rules I put in front of every client

1. Movement is a non-negotiable. Block your workouts  and movement on the calendar the same way you block a client meeting. If you wait for time to open up, it never will. Take a walking meeting. Take a call on your phone instead of at your desk. Get a walking pad. Get outside for ten minutes before your first meeting. Add resistance training a few days a week or a fun hobby that recreates this.

2. What you put in your body has an impact. What you put into your body shows up directly in your cognitive function and your energy. Sugar and refined carbs give you a fast spike and a hard crash. If you are going to eat them, eat them earlier in the day, ideally around a workout. Try to prepare food or ensure you don’t skip meals or eat at your desk all the time.

3. Respect caffeine's half-life. I love good coffee and tea!  So I am not telling anyone to quit it. I now wait ninety minutes after waking before my first cup, and I cut myself off by 2pm. If you want to be asleep by ten or eleven, this is a must. Caffeine lingers longer than people think, and it quietly eats into your deep sleep and REM sleep, the sleep that actually restores you.

4. Treat sleep like your full-time job. It is the single biggest lever you have over your energy, your triggers, and how you show up as a leader. Build a structured sleep routine: keep the room cold, somewhere between 60 and 67 degrees, use blackout curtains or a sleep mask; and add white or brown noise if it helps you fall asleep faster. We protect the sleep of children, so trust me, we need this just as much. Sleep can help with focus, cognition, energy, mental health, stress management and so much more. 

5. Hydrate on purpose. Even slight dehydration affects your memory and your ability to focus. Keep water within reach all day, not just when you notice you are thirsty. 

6. Build in a daily reset. This does not have to be a long meditation. It can be ten minutes walking outside with no phone. It can be sitting with your eyes closed and letting your thoughts move through without chasing them. You can even try something simple like box breathing:  breathe in for four counts, hold for four, out for four, hold empty for four. Run a few rounds before a tough conversation ormeeting and watch what happens to your ability to remain calm.

What this looks like in real coaching

One client came to me carrying a lot of anxiety around her team and her own performance. As we worked through where that stress was actually coming from, she realized she had been mindlessly snacking through stressful stretches of her day. She got more intentional about her nutrition and started moving more, walking instead of defaulting to her desk. Over three months, she lost 40 pounds. 

But what mattered more to her leadership was what happened alongside it. She became more proactive with her team instead of reactive. She cut down on meetings she did not need to be in and protected her energy for the ones that mattered and ultimately her confidence went up, and she could lead from calmer energy.

Another client had resisted meditation for years. He finally agreed to build a short daily practice in, nothing elaborate, and it changed how he led. He kept up the habit for all 6 months and it was now a fully integrated habit he thoroughly saw changed everything. He became more strategic, more patient, and a better coach to his own team. He told me it changed things outside of work too, in how she showed up in her relationships.

Neither of these transformations started with a leadership technique. They started with a solid foundation.

Where to start

If you want a place to begin, start with sleep. It is the fastest lever you can pull, and the research shows exactly how much is riding on it. I put together a free guide with the exact sleep hygiene framework I use myself and with my coaching clients. Grab it here. And if you want to learn more, you can check out Whoop’s podcast episode #176.