By Radia Carr | February 24, 2026
I remember it like it was yesterday. My client responds via email and he is so angry with me and about to have my head. It’s not the first time. I’ve made mistakes. Ones I should have known better on, and ones that took experience to know how to handle better.
I used to think trust was built by being sharp. Being prepared, being articulate, having the answer faster than anyone. And don’t get me wrong, competence matters. But the longer I’ve worked with people, clients, leaders, teams, the more I’ve realized something that’s both humbling and freeing. Trust is built when people feel safe with you. Safe to speak honestly, safe to admit confusion, safe to disagree, safe to not have it all together. And that kind of trust doesn’t get created in the “good” moments. It gets created in the moments that feel messy, uncomfortable, embarrassing, and I mean really embarrassing….high stakes. Two distinct moments (of many) taught me that in a way I’ll never forget.
The first one still makes me cringe a little when I think about it. I had a contract with a client, pricing and details, and I messed it up. Not once. Three times. You know that feeling when you realize you’ve made an error and your body reacts before your brain does? Like the air gets heavier, your stomach drops, your mind starts doing that rapid fire scan: How bad is it, how did this happen, what did I just damage?
That was me. First time, no big deal, it was corrected before the client read the email. Second time? Mortified doesn’t even cover it. I was embarrassed and honestly scared I had destroyed my credibility. Because this wasn’t a tiny typo, this was pricing and details. This was the stuff that signals whether you’re organized, whether you’re reliable, whether you take people seriously. I kept thinking: if I were on the other side of this, would I trust me?
Here’s the moment where trust can either die or deepen. I could have tried to talk my way out of it, overexplained, made it sound smaller than it was. But I didn’t. Because that does nothing. I needed to own it.
I told them the truth. I apologized fully, clearly, without trying to make myself feel better. I remember saying something to myself like: I cannot believe how I handled that. I expected more from myself. To the client, it was I’m sorry. Then I did the part that felt risky. I gave them a much different contract than what was discussed, so I honored what was in their favor.. Not because I was trying to “buy” their forgiveness, but because I needed my actions to match what I was saying. I wanted to add something valuable in lieu of my mistake, in a way that felt clean, not performative.
And here’s what surprised me. I thought I was going to lose the client. I thought this would be the end of trust. Instead, I felt the relationship shift into something more real. Because when you don’t protect your ego, when you protect the relationship, people feel it. People trust you when you can say: I was wrong, and I’m going to make it right.
The second story is different because in this one, I didn’t mess up a document. I messed up a relationship moment. Years ago, I had a client I was in regular touch with, almost weekly. We had a rhythm. It was easy. Communication was consistent. Then suddenly, nothing. Weeks went by, then months.
And I wasn’t annoyed, I was quite surprised. They had been clients for years. I later grew concerned..Genuinely concerned.
I started thinking: Is he okay? Did something happen? Is he no longer with the company? Did I miss a memo? So I did what I thought was the responsible thing. I reached out to the President of the company to check in, just to make sure everything was alright. I had a relationship with both of them, the VP and the President. In my head, it felt logical. In his world, it landed as: you went above my head.
That’s when I got the message from the VP: why would you go to my boss? I can still feel the heat of that moment, that tight “oh no” feeling, because I immediately understood what I had done, even though I didn’t mean it. I broke trust.
Not because my intention was bad, but because my impact was. And this is something I wish more people understood. Trust isn’t about your intention. It’s about the experience you create for someone else.
At that moment, I didn’t get defensive. I didn’t argue. I didn’t try to justify. I apologized. I explained my perspective very shortly,, but I also told him I understood completely why he was upset and angry.. I told him my intention wasn’t to make him look bad, and I could see how it came across that way.
Then I changed my behavior. I started paying attention to his style, what mattered to him, how he preferred to communicate, what felt respectful in his world. And here was the twist I didn’t expect.
If I couldn’t reach him by email, texting him was actually the best way. I had assumed texting wouldn’t be his preference based on his years experience. That was a very incorrect assumption. Once I adjusted to that, everything improved.
We continued working together for years. He became one of my biggest champions. He trusted me with confidential information. We worked like a real collaborative team. I earned that by learning from him, not guessing him.
So when people ask me what makes someone actually trustworthy in conversation, I don’t think about charm or confidence. I think about things the same way that I teach with my T.R.U.S.T Framework.
The TRUST Method: the playbook I used in both mistakes
In both scenarios, this is how I handled things. Trust could’ve been broken for good, or repaired into something even stronger. This is the framework I leaned on.
T = Tune In
I slowed down; got fully present; didn’t rush to defend myself. I regulated my tone so the conversation stayed safe.
R = Research
After the “over his head” moment, I stopped assuming and learned his style. Email wasn’t it; texting was. That shift prevented the same mistake from happening again.
U = Uncover
I asked what really bothered them, not just what happened on the surface. I wanted the truth on the table so we could fix the real issue.
S = Support
With the contract mistake, I owned it fast and made it right with action; I honored the lower pricing and added value to repair the impact.
T = Track
I followed through; stayed consistent; checked in. That’s how the VP eventually became one of my biggest champions and we both created an even stronger relationship after that.
What it looks like in real life
- Say it clean: “I was wrong; I understand why this frustrated you; here’s what I’m doing to fix it by X date.”
- Learn their world: “How do you prefer I reach you; and what’s the best way to communicate when you’re heads down?”
- Prove it over time: follow up, follow through, and do quick check-ins: “How are we doing; anything you want me to do differently next time?”
Responses