By Radia Carr | February 17, 2026
If you’re trying to influence without authority, managing up, leading cross-functional work, selling services or a product, an idea, or getting a client to move, you’ve probably felt this:
You know what needs to happen. You can see the path. You have experience. And yet the room is… hesitant.
Some people are supportive. Some are skeptical. Some look like they’re listening, but you can feel the “prove it” energy.
That’s where influence is either built or burned.
Next-level influence is not about being louder, smarter, faster, or more impressive. It’s about getting people to choose the decision with you. And the shortcut to that is trust. You cannot bypass it. No one is ever influenced by someone they don't connect with or trust.
The meeting that could have turned into “more meetings”
One of the best examples of influence I’ve seen in my own work came in a situation I’ve faced many times: sitting in front of multiple senior leaders, each with distinct personalities and levels of experience, all with the power to say yes or no.
The goal was to develop and train several groups across a large organization. Big audience. Big impact. But also, big stakes.
Because if I didn’t influence the room, what happened next wasn’t just “no.”
It was the slow death of progress; more meetings, more circling, more delays. A waste of everyone’s time. A missed opportunity to increase engagement and up-level skills across teams. A missed opportunity to transform lives.
And there was something else sitting in the room with me that day: a lot of pressure.
The reputation of the people who brought me in.
If this didn’t land, it wasn’t just my outcome. It was theirs, too. That stressed me out even more. Wanting to maintain their credibility and help them become a champion.
Even though I had done this for years, I still felt nervous. Uncertain. Not because I didn’t believe in the work, but because influence is human. You don’t control it. You earn it.
The resistance came in different forms:
Some leaders sat back, arms relaxed, listening with a neutral face. Some were challenged with direct questions. Some weren’t resisting me; they were resisting change.
That one is common, especially in successful organizations.
When an organization is thriving, the unspoken question becomes: “Why invest when we’re already winning?” So, you may be trying to influence an idea in-house, and, candidly, sometimes the safer bet is to do nothing. Leaders, stakeholders, customers, or clients may wonder why they should bet on you when they are currently "fine" in their situation.
That question is fair. It’s also the exact moment where a lot of high performers blow it, because they start pushing. The person being pushed immediately feels it. It's uncomfortable. And it's the quickest way to lose trust.
The temptation: prove myself, talk more, impress them
I could feel the temptation to do what so many smart, capable people do under pressure:
Talk more because silence feels uncomfortable. List credentials. Share testimonials. Over-explain. Try to “win” the room. I have seen this my entire career. Often, the person who is the best at listening, asking questions, and being empathetic is truly the leader. The person in the room with something to prove, pushing their agenda, and speaking over others is the one who is trusted the least.
That approach can get you through the meeting, but it rarely earns the decision.
Instead, I did something that sounds simple, but is incredibly hard when you want an outcome:
I asked questions. A lot of them.
Not surface-level questions; outcome questions. I wanted to uncover the underlying reason a “yes” would matter.
What outcomes do you want? What would change if this worked? How would this make the organization better? How would this investment pay off long term... in culture, retention, profits, and performance?
And here’s the key: I wasn’t trying to convince them. I was trying to help them come to that conclusion themselves. That’s influence.
When you guide people to their own clarity, they stop feeling sold to and start feeling a sense of ownership.
Over time, with each conversation, there were a few laughs. The energy shifted. Not because I "performed", but because I stayed honest and steady and focused on their world, not my pitch, not what I wanted. I see this with leaders all too often. Focusing on their agenda or the message coming from their leadership team. Push the agenda, tell the team what to do. People walk away feeling disempowered, frustrated, and sometimes resisting. Because they weren't part of the solution. They were told what to do. That is not influence.
What happened next; momentum and real change
They moved forward. And the outcome is still one of my proudest wins.
Multiple leaders trained; roughly a hundred people impacted. Cohort one. Then cohort two. Then cohort three. And it continued.
That’s what influence creates when it’s done well: momentum.
And the feedback afterward was incredible. Leaders were genuinely happy they made the investment. They saw the payoff in engagement, communication, leadership capability, and even stress reduction and fulfillment; not just at work, but at home too.
Culture improved. Commitment grew. Behavior changed.
That’s the kind of impact that doesn’t come from pushing. The best part of it was that they could all celebrate these wins because it was their decision. They were invested in the continued growth. When you are influencing teams, you want their buy-in, their commitment, their support. When they are part of the decision, their commitment skyrockets.
Because if I had pushed rather than influenced, I’m confident it would have been a potentially strained relationship, reduced trust, and led to no real resolution. People don’t like being driven into a decision. They want to be guided. They want to be heard.
So if you’re asking, “How can I develop my next level of influence?” here’s the framework I’d give you.
3 Ways to Build Next-Level Influence
1) Listen to understand, not to respondThis is the biggest multiplier of influence I know. A lot of high performers are conditioned to “dive in and drive.” They’re fast. They’re decisive. They’re used to results. But influence isn’t built by speed. It’s built by tuning in and truly listening at the deepest levels. One of my favorite books on this is: STFU by Dan Lyons
The practical move: don’t speak about solutions until you truly understand the challenge. That means deep listening plus follow-up questions.
Try these in your next high-stakes conversation:
“What outcome matters most to you here?”
“What’s the real concern beneath the question?”
“If we solve this, what becomes possible for your team?”
“What have you already tried, and what did you learn?”
“What would make this worth the time and investment?”
Then reflect back on what you heard in one clean sentence. People trust you faster when they feel accurately understood. And when people trust you, they let you influence them.
2) Be honest and transparent; confidence without the know-it-all energy
Influence collapses when people feel you’re performing. You can have the best idea in the world, but if the energy is “I’m here to prove I’m the smartest,” people brace.
Honesty disarms that.
If you don’t know the answer, say you don’t know. If you do know, say it clearly. If you’ve succeeded, own it without arrogance. If you’ve made mistakes, share the lesson without shame. Humility is magnetic. Not fake humility; real humanity.
Because what people connect with isn’t perfection. It’s credibility plus sincerity.
A quick gut check: Am I trying to look impressive, or to be useful?
The more useful you are, the less you need to force influence. People invite it.
3) Use storytelling to help others see their future
Data informs. Stories move. When you want to drive a point home, don’t just explain benefits. Paint a picture people can feel.
Use a story where you helped someone in a similar situation, or where another team, department, or client faced the same obstacle and solved it.
And make it sensory. Help them imagine it.
What was the pain before? What did it cost them? What shifted when they acted? What did the results look like? What did the team feel like afterwards?
Storytelling works best when it’s tuned to the person you’re speaking with. Different personalities care about different proof. Some want metrics. Some want morale. Some want efficiency. Some want less stress. Some want a win they can stand behind.
That’s why tip one matters so much; you can’t tell the right story until you understand what matters to them.
The bottom line
Next-level influence is not about controlling people.
It’s about earning the kind of trust where people choose the decision with you.
So if you’re trying to influence without authority, here’s your weekly assignment:
In your next conversation, speak 20 percent less. Ask 20 percent better questions. Be human. Tell one story that fits their world. You’ll feel the shift. So will the room.
And over time, you’ll build something that can’t be faked: a reputation for clarity, trust, and impact. That’s influence.
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